


A Day in the Life of a Jedi

by celedan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fun, Jedi Apprentice Series, Out of Character, Silly Jedi, lots of singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8586853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celedan/pseuds/celedan
Summary: Have you ever wondered what a Jedi's day looks like? Well... I bet, this is not how you imagined it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Ein Tag im Jedi-Tempel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8586868) by [celedan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celedan/pseuds/celedan). 



> This story takes place - obviously - before Tahl's death in the Jedi Apprentice books by Jude Watson, so for now, everything is right for Qui-Gon. It's a translation of a fic I wrote in German fifteen years or so ago when my best friend and me were in our Star Wars phase, writing our first fanfiction.^^

**Morning/ Mid-morning:**

The sun wasn't even up yet as an alarm clock echoed through the Jedi-Temple with a rather obtrusive noise.

Jedi-Master Yoda sleepily rubbed his eyes and only seconds later, the alarm clock flew through the spacious room with the aid of the Force. But after a while, Yoda changed his mind and crawled from the bed tiredly. “Damn,” he mumbled while he picked up the shattered remains of his alarm clock. “Now this thing I have to take to the technicians!”

He shuffled through the chambers to his bathroom. Inside, he first pulled his light-rose bathing cap over his head and then picked up his faithful bath brush. Blissfully, Yoda now let the hot water flow over his wrinkly, green back. While scrubbing his back with the brush, it being almost taller than himself, he sang with all he had _I’m Singing in the Rain_ in his deep bass.

After this refreshing shower, the not even one metre and thirty tall Jedi-Master stood before his wardrobe looking for today's outfit. He frowned. It was extremely difficult to choose with this extensive selection. While pondering it, he let row after row of the same looking tunics swish by him for the fifth time, all of them hanging neatly from coat hangers in his electric wardrobe. Finally, he decided on one. When Yoda scrutinised himself in the mirror, he murmured satisfied, “Thus the day begin can good!”

Merrily, he grabbed his staff and marched out through the door.

 

Not far from Yoda's room, the tall dark-skinned Jedi-Master Mace Windu was busy cleaning his teeth meticulously with dental silk. He reviewed the result critically, but when his teeth blinked as white as they were supposed to after using extra fine dental silk as well as the toothpaste de luxe _Magic White_ , he nodded satisfied.

After that, he wiped his shorn skull with a cloth, as well as his boots until they shone as brightly as his teeth and head afterwards.

He stepped into the wide corridor and almost collided with Master Yoda.

“Good Morning, Master Yoda.”

“Good Morning, Master Windu.”

“Are you as anxious for the council meeting as I am?” Mace inquired.

Yoda nodded solemnly. “Important decisions we must make.”

They walked the short distance to the turbo-lift wrapped in grave silence. Even inside the turbo-lift cabin taking them high up to the Council's chambers, nobody said a word.

But when they stepped into the still artificially lit room, the other male Council members were already present.

Ki Adi-Mundi greeted them with an excited gleam in his eyes. “We've already began without you. We just couldn't stand it any more!”

Yoda and Mace sat down with the others. Thick catalogues were passed around.

“Truly, very lovely they are!” Yoda exclaimed admiringly.

Mace nodded, equally as pleased. “Now we only have to decide which new tunic model we choose for the Temple. And especially, which Master Tailor we entrust with this important task?!”

“It's really difficult to find the right clothing for the whole Temple,” Ki Adi-Mundi said. “We have to be careful after all that the colour of the tunic doesn't clash with the skin colour of some species.”

The others assembled nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, the door indicator hummed. Everyone stormed to his seat in a hurry, putting on a severe and highly concentrated face. Yoda banned the stack of catalogues into the nearest corner with help of the Force.

Only one second later, the female Council members led by Adi Gallia stepped into the room. She scrutinised her colleagues shrewdly.

“What are you doing here this early?” Adi Gallia demanded.

The men grimaced in indignation about this suspicious sounding assumption. “We simply began discussing today's agenda early,” one of the Masters explained ponderously. “After all, it is a matter of utmost importance!”

Adi Gallia looked from one to the other sceptically, but eventually sat down without a word.

 

It was only 8.30 when the Council began with its actual matter for the day. In the meantime, Jedi-Master Qui-Gon Jinn sat in his bubble bath. As a matter of fact, the tub was a little small for a man of almost two metres height, but he squeezed inside bravely, letting himself befuddle by the scent of lavender filling the bathroom. He loathed the smell actually, but his best friend Tahl had given him a one and a half litre bottle for his birthday. Qui-Gon knew that she'd only wanted to tease him since she knew how much he hated this smell, but to please her, he used it.

The rubber duck pitched and tossed merrily on the water until Qui-Gon remembered that it was high time to pick up his Padawan for breakfast.

So, he hurried to leave the tub quickly, if only to escape the horrible smell of lavender.

 

Only a few metres away from Obi-Wan's door, he picked up the obnoxious singing of his Padawan.

Even if he had a good voice, it was a little excessive to blare _Spectacular, Spectacular_ at the top of his voice through the whole Temple this time of the day.

Qui-Gon was amazed that Obi-Wan had heard the door bell at all. Now, his apprentice stood before him with dishevelled hair and wrapped in a pink plush bathrobe with matching slippers.

“Good Morning, Master,” Obi-Wan yawned.

Qui-Gon inspected him sceptically from top to bottom. “Good Morning. Did you plan to go to breakfast like that?”

Obi-Wan stared at his Master appalled, whipped his head around to risk a glance at his alarm clock, and froze. It was ten to nine. In ten minutes they would serve breakfast and he wasn't dressed!

Suddenly woken from his stupor, Obi-Wan bounced through his room frantically, looking for his clothes. In the meantime, he brawled the whole time, “This damn pile of junk! Why didn't it go off? It's high time I take it to the technicians.”

Qui-Gon leant with his arms crossed against the door frame, rolling his eyes in exasperation, and only thought; By all Midiclorians!

Four minutes later, Obi-Wan stormed past Qui-Gon. His Padawan's braid flew wildly after him, because he didn't have time or patience to braid the thing. “Come on, Master,“ he cried over his shoulder. „Or we will be late.”

“Yeah, yeah, you go ahead, I'll meet you there,” Qui-Gon called back and slowly trotted after him. He had nothing against eating, mind you, but what his Padawan got up to could be regarded as bodily harm (for Qui-Gon's eyes) and harassment of public morals, and he really didn't need to witness this day in and day out if he could avoid it.

 

At nine o'clock sharp, Obi-Wan stormed into the dining hall, heading straight for the buffet. “Phew, fortunately, everything's still there!” he panted and started to fill his plate.

After ravaging the buffet, he sat down at his friends' table, his arms loaded with three loaded plates.

His friend Bant was used to her friend's appetite by now, but not only Obi-Wan possessed a healthy appetite. His friend Reeft, a Dressilian with wrinkly grey skin was known as the biggest glutton in the whole Temple. He looked at Obi-Wan with his big, sad eyes. “I hope there will be enough for both of us. Do you plan on eating this much every day from now on? Since when do you do that?”

His best friend Garren Muln patted his shoulder. “Don't worry, Reeft. Obi-Wan's only starved because on his latest mission, he had the chance to get to know the extraordinary culinary _delights_ of Kubindi, and now he has a lot of catching-up to do,” Garren grinned. “Isn't this correct, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan looked up briefly from his pudding, throwing Garren an exasperated glance.

Qui-Gon, in the meantime, had joined the other Jedi-Masters with his breakfast. While unenthusiastically poking at his food, he had to once again admire Master Yoda's hearty appetite. For such a small creature, the amount of food he could ingest was quite astounding.

Suddenly, he perceived a discontented grumble; the voice belonged to Mace Windu, who sat a few seats away from him. “I don't know about you, but this room is extremely cold, isn't it?” he whined and pulled his tunic tighter around his shoulders. “Air conditioning is set a little low.”

The other Masters looked at each other in exasperation, but didn't say anything.

 

After breakfast, which lasted until eleven o'clock, Obi-Wan rose and looked at his accomplishment with satisfaction. The buffet was emptied to the last crumb, not least because of him and Reeft.

Then he followed his friends to the black board which had the day's activities pinned up. Swimming in the Temple's pool was on the agenda. All of the Padawans changed enthusiastically. When Obi-Wan re-emerged wearing his bright blue swimming trunks, he spotted the Masters standing at the pool edge, supervising everything.

„Come on in with us!“ Bant called out to the Masters, already paddling enthusiastically in the water. After all, she was a Mon Calamari, who were formidable swimmers.

But the Masters suddenly put on plaintive faces. “Och… We're no spring chickens any more, you know. We can't frolic around like youngsters any more,” it sounded from one corner. Some scratched their heads awkwardly, claiming they had a migraine and/or rheumatism. The rest insisted upon having a cold. Then they departed.

Obi-Wan jumped into the water. And this were supposed to be the best and bravest men in the whole galaxy!? Shaking his head, he swam a few rounds in the pool with Bant and the others.

 

**Noon/ Afternoon:**

Pleasantly exhausted, the Padawans climbed from the pool where they were already eagerly awaited by their Masters. They touchingly enquired if their Padawans had had fun, they'd really have loved to come in as well, but, you know, obligations and all.

The administratrix of the library archive, Jocasta Nu, had later arranged day trips for everyone which most of the Jedi embraced excitedly.

And that's how Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan came to stroll through Coruscant not half an hour later.

“We really needed this rest period, Master,” Obi-Wan told him and let the warm sun shine in his face. Qui-Gon nodded and looked around. By now, they' reached a neighbourhood where the night life of Coruscant was the most active, even during the day. He just wanted to suggest they take another way when the sound of a familiar voice reached his ears.

“Did you hear that, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan looked up at his Master questioningly, but then the voice sounded again. “Wait a minute. That sounds just like...”

They followed the voice until they stood in the middle of the most notorious of all clubs, the _Beach Paradise_. The light was gloomy, scantily dressed dancers writhed seductively on the tabletops and before every table men with alcoholic beverages whooped at the dancers. And at one of the tables in the front row sat the head of the Jedi-Order, Mace Windu.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan couldn't believe their eyes.

Obi-Wan wanted to approach the Master, but Qui-Gon held him back and positioned himself in the middle of the room for all to see with his arms crossed over his chest. They watched Mace for a little while, how he talked to one of the waitresses. You didn't really have to strain your ears to hear him. “You really are an exceptional employee! You could work for me as well. I just live around the corner.”

As he looked to the side for just a moment, he finally noticed the two Jedi. His cheerfulness was hidden immediately behind a serious and ponderous mien. „Thank you, Madame, that would be all,“ he told the waitress, who hurried away to tend to her other guests.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan now stood before their leader.

Mace Windu looked up to them and fixed them with his piercing, hawk-like eyes. “I'm glad you're here. I'm undercover in this establishment and could use some help.”

Of course, Qui-Gon thought sardonically, but he let him talk.

“It's really hard getting through to people.”

“We could see that,” Obi-Wan mumbled and immediately earned himself a nasty look from Mace. Inwardly, he thought deadpan: He really threw himself into this undercover mission, put heart and soul into it.

In that moment, a furious figure stormed into the club, loaded with three shopping bags.

When she spotted Mace, Adi Gallia made a beeline for him. “How dare you?!” she screamed at him.

Turning to Qui-Gon, she explained, “We've been shopping together and suddenly the bastard buggers off while I try to squeeze myself into a too tight dress! And only because he wanted to flirt with these cheap bitches!” She threw Mace a scathing look and the girls in the club a disdainful sniff. “Can you believe this, Qui-Gon!”

The other Master stepped from one foot to the other and he tried hard to keep his grin in check. “No, to be truthful, I really can't believe this,” he admitted and averted his gaze. Obi-Wan had to hide behind his Master's broad back because he couldn't contain his laughter any more at the sight of their fearless leader being given a bollocking from Adi Gallia. In Mace's defence though, Obi-Wan had to admit that he himself wouldn't have had the balls either to mess with the resolute Mistress.

His amusement gradually degenerated into a full-blown laughing fit, but to his luck, Adi Gallia didn't hear his snickers in her rage. Otherwise, he would have been well-advised to attempt a quick getaway.

The female Master turned to Mace once more and plunked the shopping bags in his lap. „We'll go back to the Temple, now. Do you hear me?“

Mace Windu, who huddled rather ruefully on his chair, just nodded. He rose, carrying the shopping bags and trudged after the furious Mistress.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were left behind in the _Beach Paradise_ , shocked and unable to utter even one word.

Qui-Gon was the first to find his voice again. “Well. After this shock, I'd suggest going to Didi's for a drink.”

“Good idea, Master.”

 

Meanwhile, Yoda sat at the poolside bar of the Temple's pool together with the blind Jedi-Knight Tahl. The small green gnome wore a flower garland around his neck and slurped a poison-green cocktail. By now, Tahl had forfeit talking, because Yoda prattled on like a waterfall the whole time. Suddenly, a pretty downtrodden figure shuffled over to the bar.

Mace plunked down on a bar stool next to Yoda and ordered a forty percent, ocean-blue cocktail with a little paper umbrella on the top.

“I had a fight with Adi Gallia!” Mace sobbed at Tahl questioning him what had happened.

Tahl shook her head enervated while Yoda tried to comfort his human colleague.

“I don't know what it was about, but it was certainly your fault,” Tahl announced convinced, and was, as often happened of course, right. “Don't be such a baby, Mace Windu!” With dignity, she rose and declared, “I'll go now and find Bant.” With that, she up and left to search for her Padawan.

The two Jedi Masters left behind didn't pay attention to her any more. Instead, Mace bawled his eyes out at Yoda's small shoulder, telling him the whole horrible story.

 

**And late in the Evening...**

It was almost seven in the evening. Obi-Wan stormed into the Temple, dragging his Master behind him, who constantly admonished him to stop making such a fuss.

At least, Qui-Gon managed to free himself from Obi-Wan's grip and followed his apprentice at a more sedate pace. Obi-Wan was of the opinion that only a fulfilling dinner could remedy the shock of today's afternoon. The few drinks in Didi's café, an old friend of Qui-Gon's, definitely failed to have the desired effect.

Dinner proceeded similar to breakfast, only that everyone was much more tired and exhausted than this morning. Obi-Wan and Reeft however were far from too tired to pounce on the buffet.

After dinner, Jocasta Nu had arranged for a karaoke session. She'd borrowed the equipment from the senate who liked to sing karaoke quite often if their debates got all too boring, or they hadn't anything to do. High Chancellor Valorum had the reputation of having a formidable singing voice, just as Senator Palpatin of Naboo, even if he restrained himself dignified most of the time.

Master Yoda was asked to begin. He stood in the spotlight and belted out _My Way_ into the microphone. He was rewarded with mad applause after his performance so that Yoda's green cheeks turned red bashfully.

Next, Bant dared to step on stage. She sang a song called _Big Big World_ and she too got cheery applause.

Mace Windu, already slightly inebriated, bawled _Sex Bomb_ into the microphone. Yoda, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan knew immediately, to whom this song was dedicated. Adi Gallia however wished the ground would open and swallow her up, her honey-coloured skin turning dark red in shame.

Despite initial struggles, Bant and Adi Gallia's Padawan Siri eventually managed to persuade Obi-Wan to recite _Oh Happy Day_ . Siri chose _Diamonds are a Girl_ _’_ _s Best Friend_ . Tahl even coaxed Qui-Gon into singing. Their ballad _Come What May_ , sung as a duet, was received with thunderous applause.

Following a few other brave Jedi, even Jocasta Nu performed with a scratchy, but cheery voice a song called _Superjeile Zick_ *. Afterwards, she raved about the good old times and how much easier ev'rything had been back then.

About an hour later, it now was 21.45, a waltz was played. Siri and Bant initially tried to coax Obi-Wan into dancing, and afterwards they fought about him, which he used as a means of escape. It wasn't of much use to him, though, because the two athletic girls soon caught up to him. Thus he had to take turns in dancing with them.

Shyly, Mace Windu went over to Adi Gallia, knelt gallantly before her and begged her forgiveness. At that, he presented her with a beautiful flower bouquet, which he'd nicked from the Room of a Thousand Fountains without the gardeners noticing.

Qui-Gon, in the meantime, asked Tahl for a dance. Now, he held her in his arms to the sound of the romantic music all around them. Yoda aided the rhythm by tapping the beat with his cane.

 

Time flew by, and it was almost midnight. Only a few Jedi remained, sitting together. Yoda perched high on his stool and inspected the room. He wouldn't want to be in the poor soul's skin who'd have to clear away the leftovers of the party, but, that's what Padawans were for.

Bant and Siri had forsaken their hunt for Obi-Wan eventually and had instead started a lively conversation.

Obi-Wan himself cowered, exhausted from his flight, on a chair and cradled a glass of water. He was horribly sick and he had a headache. The few drinks at Didi's obviously hadn't been his best idea ever.

Tahl and Qui-Gon sat in a corner, Tahl on Qui-Gon's lap with her head resting on his shoulder while they talked quietly with each other.

Adi, in the meanwhile, tried to motivate Mace to call it a day so that he could sleep off his buzz. She tried to heave him up from the table, but he was way too heavy for her. Therefore, she simply dropped him again so that his head banged on the tabletop none too gently. At least he was awake now.

She shrugged in exasperation and joined Bant and Siri.

Mace lifted his head and stared around with bleary eyes. Before his head fell back onto the table with a hollow noise, he murmured, “The party is over...!”

**End**

 

* _Superjeile Zick_ is a song (sung in the dialect we have here in Cologne) of the famous band 'Brings' and kind of means 'freakin' awesome time', namely that in our youth everything was better and more fun, and today we're just plain old, too old to party carefree, etc.

 


End file.
